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About Bender

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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So, we decide to take a break. Head over to that little café on Strada Calea Orheiului. You know the one? The one with the best coffee in town. I order a cappuccino, and it’s like heaven in a cup. I’m feelin’ a bit better, but then I see this guy at the next table. He’s got a laptop, and he’s just typing away. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a power outage! What’s your secret?”

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